Making friends

At the start of this week, with Term 2 in school, I decided that I am going to make some friends. After all, I'll be in this school for at least the next 6 years if nothing changes.

I watched my daughter make friends with other children after school at the school playground and am very proud of her openness and willingness to play with others. We would stay back after school for afternoon tea and the girls get to play for awhile. There are a few other families who would stay and let their children play before going home.

I thought that I should make friends too, though I quite enjoy the solitary time making balloons myself.

It was difficult. It made me remember what it was like to be a new member of a group that already has so many 'friends'.

You know, I thank God for children. They are one gift from God that bring people together. I held my nearly 2 y.o.'s hand and went up to a mum, also with a 2 y.o., and asked if our children can play together. And a conversation started. Now, the girls are friends and I know someone by name at school.

Strangely enough, all, except one, of the children who stayed back to play were not from my daughter's year level. The one who is the same age as my daughter has an older brother and they all play together.

By the end of the week, I know the names of 3 mums! Hooray! I have to thank God for helping me step out of my comfort zone to talk to others. You see, I'm an introvert. I am happy to be on my own, without friends and be in my own world. It is frightening to make friends. Not so much the relationship building, but that first step. Never been easy. My palms perspire, my head comes up with 101 responses if people reject me, my face turns red, I get tongue-tied... Just to take that first step out to say, "Hi!"

So, now that I have made myself known, I hope to establish these friendships throughout my days in the school. Sphere: Related Content

Learning as a schoolie mum.

Having been a schoolie mum for a term, I'm getting used to the routine and is able to manage my time a little better.

It has been a steep learning curve as there was no easing into it. It was wham-bang 8:45am - 3pm school hours from the first day.

School lunches are getting easier to pack and school-play routine more or less sorted out.

We still get readers in the bag to read everyday, but with an earlier dinner, we are able to enjoy it a lot better, rather than rushing for the Preppie to shut her eyes and sleep.

I have learnt that it's ok to let some things slip by. We had 9 weeks of school in Term 1 and by week 8, Miss 5y.o. had difficulties waking up in the morning. I have been packing breakfast in the car and letting her sleep in a little. There are two sides to the argument. One will say no, they need to learn the consequences of waking up late, or they need the discipline to be up at that time whether they like it or not. My side of the argument is, I'd rather pack breakfast and let her eat in the car than have a grumpy and cranky child to start the day off. That extra 10-15 mins really helps to get her spirits right. After all, if I had woken her up 10-15 mins earlier, I'll be battling her to eat her breakfast for that time frame anyway.

While I have no intention to teach my children that sleeping in when duty calls is ok, I do want them to know that we are not perfect and once in awhile it is ok to just go in late and apologise for waking up late. She has worked hard during the day and she does need the sleep to bring her through another day. Sphere: Related Content

When reading becomes a chore

This week my 5y.o. brought back a book everyday to be read to and to help her understand the story.

This reading programme aims to foster a reading habit in children and families and help children to gain better understanding of the English language through simple but colourful sentences (and pictures) and guided questions for parents to quiz their children.

The books are interesting and use easy to understand words and sentences, although there are a few challenging words to push their reading and understanding level.

I love reading and so do my girls. But this week I have found it a chore. I didn't enjoy the stories as much as I'd like to. Only because it was a 'homework'. When we finished each book, I'd quiz my daughter to make sure she understood the stories. Then I'd sign the reading sheet and she coloured in how many stars (out of 5) she would give to the story.

The only problem I have is, I have been reading them to her in Mandarin. She doesn't want me to read to her in English. Sssshhhh... I'm secretly happy to know that she still likes to hear her mother tongue.

We've come to a agreement that when it comes to school work, I'll have to use English. But all other times, it'll be Mandarin with her. Sphere: Related Content

Learning to be soft but firm

I have discovered the wonders of a soft but firm voice.

Seriously. I used to yell at my children when I get heated up and cranky at them.

These 3 weeks of school has taught me something new. Dealing with tired and irrational children needs a soft but firm voice. The more I scream and yell at them, the more they retaliate and the vicious cycle continues.

I have come to recognise and accept that my girls are stubborn and strong-willed. I have to be even more strong-willed to win this mothering business. In the past, I would use expect an immediate response and be very demanding. It worked at times. Other times, it's a battle. A huge battle.

But these few weeks I have been so tired, I don't have the energy to scream and yell at them. Half the time when they misbehave or ignore my instructions, I felt like crying.

Then I discovered that due to my lack of energy, I couldn't flare up into a temper. That would get me into a fit and tire me out faster. I have been speaking in my normal voice, but very firmly.

The words take a little longer to sink in and the children still throw their tantrums, but hey, I'm not getting into a fit nor am I worked up. If they didn't want to do as instructed but want to cry and kick, so be it. They are exhausting their energy. They sleep earlier at night. What a winner!

The soft voice really helps calm them. The firm tone tells them that mum is not giving in.

It is easier to get mad and yell, but what does that do? It'll just get all parties worked up into something unnecessary. When I use my soft and firm voice, it helps me to think too. I may be repeating myself over and over again, but I am not worked up.

It also helps children to see how mum reacts to situation and learn from it. We've been teaching our 5 y.o. that she is not to hit or scream at friends when they do something she doesn't like. I am learning to take a deep breath and use my soft but firm voice to respond to her actions and behaviours.

So far so good, not as many fights as before. Sphere: Related Content

I love school, I hate school...

It's Friday and I thank God for it. No, seriously, I thank God it's the end of the school week. Today was exhausting. All of us were back to our normal term time routine and that meant dropping my eldest in school, off to play group with the little one, lunch, sleep, school pick up, afternoon play for the girls and dinner.

A lot seems to be happening within the short span of 5 hours 'free' time during school hours. I rush around getting things done around the house, play and teach my little one and hopefully get a little rest.

My legs ached, my back too and my body and brain don't seem to be attached.

Nobody told me how tiring school runs can be.

I'm new to this and after talking to other mums who are doing this for the first time, I felt better. They feel the same too! I'm in a love-hate relationship with school runs.

I've been thinking these few days that I hardly have time to think about God. Which is not good. I'm so busy with my own life that I have put God aside. Thankfully I have somehow inherited a smart phone from a churchmate and hubby has installed an e-Bible  and daily Bible reading plan. I get to read a verse a day. It's not a lot. But have you tried running around like a madman and the only time you get to sit down is to sleep? That one verse meant a lot to me. Sometimes I forget and go back to read it again. I try to remember it for the day.

Our lives change when children come. And we have to make the best of it and still try to find time for God. It's the same as finding time for myself and with my husband. If I love someone, I need to set time aside for them. God is no exception. And you know what, that 1 minute a day with a Bible verse really makes a difference to this tired mind and body. Sphere: Related Content

School Runs

The end of January started with cyclone Oswald hitting us and water rising everywhere. I am thankful that the winds and rains died down when school started. Kept a close watch on the QLD Education's website for school closure notices.

Our school is not affected, but a few schools in the neighbouring suburbs had to close for one more day for power to be restored.

Husband and I went with Miss 5 on the first day of school. Not to help her settle in, but needed an extra pair of hands to carry a box of school stationery, books and folders.

It's been a tiring first week. Learning to get to school on time and finding a parking space. we've been leaving the house earlier and earlier. A 10-mins drive during off-peak hours now takes half an hour. Rush hour traffic is terrible and parking is almost non-existent.

What are all these cars doing at the same spot for so long, I wonder! Unfortunately, there are children who don't settle in well and parents have no choice but to stay and settle them.

Miss 20 months has been excited about going to her older sister's big school. She gets to walk the big grass compound and play on the play equipment. She's still too small for them, but she would hold on to the handlebars for dear life!

When school finishes, we always stayed for some afternoon tea which the girls enjoyed. Having afternoon tea in school just meant that I don't have to clean up at home! Yeah!

Dinner started at 6:15pm the first night. It has now progressed to 5:50pm on Friday night. I think, we'll be having dinners about that time.

It's good to have the girls in bed early and the husband and I get our time to get work done or even just to chat, without feeling the rush to get things done.

My Preppie complained about having sandwiches for lunch in the first week already. Bought a few different things for her to try this week. School lunches are really a chore. I spent my school days at the tuckshop and never had lunch packed. Coming to Australia really does bring a whole new lot of experiences!

Off to bed now, for another new day, another new week. Let's see how we go this week. Sphere: Related Content

I will come to you...

I mentioned about a car breakdown in my previous post while on my way to my cousin's wedding rehearsal. The good thing about it is, I was parked outside the Mater Hospital at a roadside carpark. The downside? I was terrified. With two preschoolers at the back, I wasn't quite sure what to do. I had to stay cheerful and entertain the two girls. Thank God for mummy intuition that made me bring lots of biscuits. Called my husband and he said the most wonderful words that night, “I will come to you.” My cousin came with his car and the two men got the battery working and the car running.

5 words. “I will come to you”. So simple, yet it meant so much.

I had a huge sense of relief when my husband said that he'd come to me. Anybody could have come to my help, but I think the impact of feeling 'rescued' wouldn't be as great as seeing someone who loves me come to my aid. It made me feel valued, important and loved.

Our children must have felt the same when they yelled out for help and see us running to them. That relief and comfort to know that mummy or daddy is here to take charge and nothing else matters. My girls had taken quite a few tumbles and had a few scrapes. They cried, they screamed, but as soon as one of us knelt down to pull them up into our embrace, the wounds didn't matter, the screaming and crying subsided to a sob and the fear in their eyes gone in that instant. That's how powerful our hugs are to the little ones. Never ever give up on a hug. It matters to them.

This reminded me of God sending His only Son, Jesus Christ, down to earth to rescue us from eternal damnation and sin. We all sin. Some say that good is relative. But actually, no. Good and bad are absolutes in God's eyes. It's either with Him or without.

Jesus came to save us from our sin against God. Our rebellion to reject the Creator. Our self-centredness. He came to us. Just like us as parents going to our children's aid, just like my husband coming to me when the car broke down.

We don't have to go looking for Him. He is here. He is with us. All we need to do is ask for Jesus to come and help, to start mending and giving Him full control. He doesn't barge in. He's not high up in the mountains or closed up in a house. He is within reach and communication.

Can you imagine what would've happened if I hadn't allowed my husband to help? I'd be stuck there with two preschoolers, fretting and anxious, angry and cranky. If, because of my ego, I had insisted on doing things my way, I wouldn't be able to make it home that night.

If you do not have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, I hope that you will take the first step and invite Him into your heart. Tell Him that you need His love and friendship, His forgiveness for your sins and let Him take control. Find a local church or a Christian friend and start fellowshipping with God. Once you let Him take control, you will find that immense peace, relief, comfort and abundant love that makes you want to shout out in gladness.

God bless you.

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