Learning to be soft but firm

I have discovered the wonders of a soft but firm voice.

Seriously. I used to yell at my children when I get heated up and cranky at them.

These 3 weeks of school has taught me something new. Dealing with tired and irrational children needs a soft but firm voice. The more I scream and yell at them, the more they retaliate and the vicious cycle continues.

I have come to recognise and accept that my girls are stubborn and strong-willed. I have to be even more strong-willed to win this mothering business. In the past, I would use expect an immediate response and be very demanding. It worked at times. Other times, it's a battle. A huge battle.

But these few weeks I have been so tired, I don't have the energy to scream and yell at them. Half the time when they misbehave or ignore my instructions, I felt like crying.

Then I discovered that due to my lack of energy, I couldn't flare up into a temper. That would get me into a fit and tire me out faster. I have been speaking in my normal voice, but very firmly.

The words take a little longer to sink in and the children still throw their tantrums, but hey, I'm not getting into a fit nor am I worked up. If they didn't want to do as instructed but want to cry and kick, so be it. They are exhausting their energy. They sleep earlier at night. What a winner!

The soft voice really helps calm them. The firm tone tells them that mum is not giving in.

It is easier to get mad and yell, but what does that do? It'll just get all parties worked up into something unnecessary. When I use my soft and firm voice, it helps me to think too. I may be repeating myself over and over again, but I am not worked up.

It also helps children to see how mum reacts to situation and learn from it. We've been teaching our 5 y.o. that she is not to hit or scream at friends when they do something she doesn't like. I am learning to take a deep breath and use my soft but firm voice to respond to her actions and behaviours.

So far so good, not as many fights as before. Sphere: Related Content