I pride myself for being independent, efficient and organised when being asked to do things.
People had also given me the same comments.
However, the last three weeks were just a mess. Absolute mess. I have never seen myself in such mess before.
What happened? I fell sick. It is bad enough to be sick. It is worse to have children to look after when you're sick.
When my children fall sick, I can still operate around them. However, God struck me with such illness that I had to admit that I am no superwoman.
It started with a sore throat, then a headache, then fever, cough and runny nose. The fever really brought me down. I lived on panadol for 4 days but the temperature wouldn't subside. By the 5th day, I had to call for help. It was mid-day and I realised that I didn't have the energy to cook. Thankfully for a churchmate who lived a street away who could cook dinner for us.
I thought that would be the only help I'll ask for. But no. By 5 pm, I wasn't moving at all. I sat in the middle of the kitchen and didn't have the energy to heat up dinner for my girls. So, another phone call was made to the pastor's wife who came straight away.
She heated up food in the microwave, put them on the table, fed the girls and read a story to my eldest. And she didn't have her dinner when she left at 7:30pm.
Throughout the week, I had to admit my inadequacy. Dinners were delivered, the house was in a mess and I just laid in bed.
Finally after a week of bed rest, I was feeling so much better. But, I had to carry my 15 month old and do a cough. Pulled a cartilage in the process of doing so. And that caused another week of immobility.
Had to call a friend to come in and help look after the girls that evening. Thank God she lives nearby and is familiar with the girls. We had takeaway dinner that night. I couldn't lift my arm. The whole of my left body was in pain.
Panadol and physio therapies were my only sanity. I'm still resting it out, but am getting better. I told my mummy friends that I felt like I just went through another caesarean with the amount of painkillers that I had swallowed.
My husband has had to get up in the middle of the night to pacify the little one. He never had to do that because we agreed that I'd have the children so that he could sleep through and have a good work day. But the last couple of weeks were so bad for me that he had to attend to the girls. We have grown a deeper appreciation for each other and through it all, deepened our love for each other.
It was tough to obey and submit to my husband's orders to lie down and rest. I knew that he was tired from work, but I also realised that if I had tried to do any more than what I should, we will see no end to this. Doing nothing was not my motto, but it had to be that way for the last two weeks.
Not only were there household chores to manage, there was church ministries to attend to. And through all these illnesses and injury, I now understand what Philippians 4:13 means when it says, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
Truly, without the God who gives me breath, strength and help from family and friends, I can do nothing. Had He not granted me the ability to keep going, I would have crumbled.
In another verse, God's strength is seen in our weakness. 2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
Not that I'll be boasting about how wonderful it was to be sick and immobile, but that God has provided and made my days smooth. He has supplied abundantly for us in food and in help. He has supplied energy when I felt like the world was crashing in.
I can do all things? No. Only through the one and only God who strengthens me.
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